As the new year begins, we set about creating small goals in order to achieve our BIG New Year’s resolutions. And while there is no error in planning for success, there is error in over planning to the point that there is no room for life to happen organically. Our new year’s resolutions fail more often than not because we over plan how to achieve them with so much vigour that when week two rolls around and we didn’t quite tick all the boxes we wanted to we give up. Or, we spend so a long time to plan our road to reaching our goal, addressing every step to success that in the end we are too scared to even start in case we fail. So how can you avoid unnecessary anxiety and overwhelm while still working towards your New Year’s Resolutions?
Set a trajectory: Where do you want to end up?
To reach a goal you must plan, of course, but set a time limit.
Write out a basic outline of steps. Choose a time and date to begin and start.
Set deadlines for your goals and tell someone!
Nothing motivates like a deadline…and being held accountable to that deadline! Think about a reasonable timeline for whatever you are working on and set a deadline for when you think you can achieve it. Then tell someone!
Redefine what perfect means to you.
If you set out with a highly detailed plan and expect to hit every small goal every time, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Life, children, spontaneity get in the way. Try to achieve your daily/weekly goal 60 – 70% of the time.
Consider plans a road map:
Your plan for the day, the week, or even the year, is a road map that gives you a sense of direction. It’s an overview of the various paths you could take. Just as you may find yourself on a detour and then need to turn back to your map to find the best way to continue on your journey. Sometimes you may find you need to slow down and simply do (in the words of Anna Frozen 2) “the next right thing” which will help you continue on your journey to achieve your goal.
Expect the unexpected: Refer to roadmap! Your goal, simply head in the right direction. A little planning goes a long way…emphasis on the little. While it can be hard to let go of the desire to be prepared for every possible outcome or event, the truth is, you can’t be. You don’t have enough information because you haven’t gone far enough down the path.
Once you start, you collect the information you need to make the next right decision. And the next, and the next, and so on. It won’t be perfect, but it will be good. You just have to start!
Overscheduling Kids
When you sign your child up for scouts, soccer, dance… your intentions are good. You want your child to learn how to hone skills. Or you hope to make it a tad easier for a shy child to make friends. while enriching your child’s life is a good thing, overscheduling activities can take a toll on your child — and family. Kids whose time is overly organised don’t have time to be kids, and their family doesn’t have time to be a family,” says paediatrician Deb Lonzer, MD. “They typically don’t eat well, sleep well or make friends properly.”
Be reasonable and realistic: Check your calendar and own commitments, where is your unscheduled time. Assess your child’s own want to participate in afternoon activities. Don’t fill every free afternoon. Consider your child’s age and your proximity to an activity before committing. (Travel time can add to your and their stress and free time).
The beauty of down time: Limiting organised activities clears the calendar for the all-important “down time” kids need for play, relaxation and family. “During downtime, all electronics should be powered down,” Dr. Lonzer stresses. Play board games, shoot hoops, bake whatever. Help your child understand that living more in the moment is a good thing. “Tell them, ‘Let’s not worry about what’s next, let’s worry about what’s now.’”
On a final note, she advises modelling a good work-life balance. “Let your kids see you pacing yourself, not procrastinating or cramming, but budgeting your time well,” Dr. Lonzer advises.
Health Cleveland Clinic. (2018). Is Your Child Overscheduled? Kids Need ‘Down Time’ Don’t let the calendar run your family’s life. Retrieved from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-your-child-overscheduled-kids-need-down-time/
There is more to read at the links below!
Source: Janssen, Ashley. (2022) Why Overplanning Is a Trap And How to Stop. Retrieved from ashleyjanssen.com/why-overplanning-is-a-trap-and-how-to-stop/
Saunders, Grace. (2015). How to stop overplanning (Even if you’re a perfectionist). Retrieved from hbr.org/2015/08/how-to-stop-overplanning-even-if-youre-a-perfectionist