As parents, we have big dreams for our kids. We want them to be smart so they can go after what they want in life and have a reasonable chance of getting it. We want them to grow up to be kind, caring members of the community. And it would be nice if they also turned out to be the type of people who remember to signal before turns. That’s a tall order. Especially when I consider the day a success if I remember to brush all my kids’ teeth twice a day. And yet, now is the time to set our kids up for success in life. Short of morphing into a drill sergeant who fills every spare moment with flashcards and forced kindness, how can we raise smart and kind kids?
As it turns out, we have one magic “keystone habit” as parents that will help us raise smart, kind kids. If you haven’t heard of keystone habits before, they’re an elite category of habits that kick off a chain reaction, influencing several areas of your life at once. In other words, you can focus on just one keystone habit, and you’ll experience several positive impacts. For example:
“Keystone habits explain how Michael Phelps became an Olympic champion and why some college students outperform their peers. They describe why some people, after years of trying, suddenly lose forty pounds while becoming more productive at work and still getting home in time for dinner with their kids.” – The Power of Habit”
The best thing about this particular “keystone habit” for raising smart, kind kids is that it’s completely free, it takes just 10-15 minutes a day, and anyone can do it. To get smart, kind kids, you don’t have to sign your kid up for expensive tutoring or have twice-daily screenings of the movie Wonder. All you have to do is this: Read to your child. Even if they already know how to read to themselves. Because research shows reading aloud is the powerful keystone habit that will raise smart, kind kids. (More on that in a minute.)
But This Is What Gets in Our Way
As parents, the demands on our time are endless. We have laundry to fold, sibling battles to mediate, and healthy dinners to prepare. Our kids need help with homework, the car is due for an oil change, and it’s our turn to bring snacks after the t-ball game. We need to make doctor appointments, deposit a check at the bank, and sew that This is why when it comes to reading aloud to our kids, we tend to prioritize it lower. I know I do. In a 2018 survey of American families, only 30 percent of parents reported reading aloud to their kids for at least 15 minutes a day. I try to read to my kids regularly, but for two weeks I tracked how many picture books I read aloud, and I was shocked. I’d only read to my kids 6 out of 14 days – not even half of the days. And so to soothe my guilt, I decided to dig into exactly what reading aloud to your kid accomplishes. I wondered: When it comes to raising smart kids, is reading aloud truly all it’s cracked up to be? The goal is to empower them and teach self-efficacy. When kids can self-regulate, they are more likely to have more successful relationships with themselves and with others.
This is what happens when you read aloud to your child every day:
– Your child will hear a wider variety of words.
– You grow your child’s brain, literally.
– You put them on the path to be a lifelong reader.
– Your child’s behaviour will improve.
– You build a stronger bond with your child.
– You increase your child’s capacity for empathy.
The moral of my little research project? The one single habit of reading aloud to your child kicks off a chain reaction of all these positive outcomes, and more. If you’re looking for the secret to raising smart kids, reading aloud is it.
Holmes, Kelly. (2023). Want to Raise Smart, Kind Kids? Science Says Do This Every Day. Retrieved Happyyouhappyfamily.com